kids say the darndess things

[jimbob]

A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a large dildo flies out and hits the windshield.

To hide her embarrassment the mother turns and says to her young kids, "My, what a big insect!"

To which her 7 year old says, "I'm surprised it could fly with a ***** that big."

[jimbob]

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time - pancakes, ice cream, and candy? -- Just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked. "Not really, Pa Pa , it was really boring. We didn't see a single a*****e, queer, lesbian, piece of crap, horse's ass, liberal pinko, blind b*****d, dipshit, Muslim camel humper, or son of a b***h anywhere we went!"

Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

[fly]

Well in the last few weeks 4 of the kids (which is just over half of them) have been to visit,

not all at once, phew,

anyway this fell out of my keyboard as a result:-


Init amazing!
Amongst the chaos of shouting at the kids, keeping your heads above water, food on the table, the wolf at the door, a roof over your heads and your feet out of the gutter,
appears the most amazing beautiful beings!
Beings that apparently grew up while you were busy shouting at the kids, keeping your heads above water, food on the table, the wolf at the door, a roof over your heads and your feet out of the gutter!
Amazing init!

[jace (Staff)]

Dontcha lubs em? Talking about my life there, too, Fly x

[fly]

Amazing Init, LOL

thems are real life miracles!

hugs@ya I know u got that stupid sappy grin on yer face just like me.

[jace (Staff)]

More than you can imagine, all of them and a gaggle of grandkids and second cousins. Such lovely people. We have some things to be grateful for (hope the teeth are not too awful this weekend) (want to borrow some molegrips?) (silly me. Biker woman has her own) Absolutely wiped, now. xxx